No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize