you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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