i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
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for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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