Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize