I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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