I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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