Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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