so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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