please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize