I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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