remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I touched a dick in church today
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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