Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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