This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
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I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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