he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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