How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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