imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
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When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
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You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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