Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
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This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
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You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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