I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize