Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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