is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
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He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
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I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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