I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize