I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize