he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize