Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize