Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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