You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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