I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
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I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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