Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Someone shattered a urinal.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Randomize