Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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