dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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