does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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