Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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