I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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