They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
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I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
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I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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