We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize