I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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