I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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