Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
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