Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize