So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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