My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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