no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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