Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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