My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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