i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
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Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
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So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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