I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize