and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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