we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize