Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
then he tried to convert me to islam
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
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The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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