can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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