i may or may not be watching the land before time
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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