do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize